June 10, 2014

Failed Friendships

In my fairytale world, the friends we meet when we're young will forever be in our lives. Those we cross paths with in high school and then college will remain a part of our everyday fabric. We'd journey through life accumulating wonderful people, that will enhance our lives beyond measure. They will be our confidants, trusted allies, wing women and shoulders to lean on in times of struggle.

The truth is, we do go through life and collect friends, but sometimes those friendships aren't meant to last a lifetime. Sometimes you end up with failed friendships. You meet someone, and there's a connection. They add some sort of value to your life, and you hopefully have some wonderful memories you'll always cherish with them. Then for one reason or another, that friendship fades. Maybe it's distance, indifference, children, marriage, miscommunication or disagreement. Whatever the reason, there will be friends that are only a part of your life for a short time.

Sometimes I struggle with the memories of these failed friendships. The best friend from high school that I never speak to anymore. Whose life has moved on and our paths seem like they'll never again converge. The friend from college that taught me how it feels to invest more into a relationship than the other person. I looked forward to her company and yet to her I was merely another of many faces that graced her daily life. 

I have no ill feelings for these failed friendships, but I certainly foster a personal sense of regret. I miss some of these old friends. They were important to me at one time, and it's hard to image them, and myself, taking huge life steps: marriage, children, first houses... without even the slightest thought of the other.

The memory of my many fail friendships also brings up happier memories of the friendships that I celebrate daily. The women that are a constant influence in my life. The women who remind me of fine wine that gets better with age. It's something you don't drink every day, but when you take it down off the shelf, you know it will be special. You know that you are in for a treat, something you cherish and enjoy.

I guess friendships really do take you full circle. Maybe it's just that some people aren't meant to be in your life forever. To me, it's important that I learn something positive from each friendship, whether it lasts for a week or a lifetime. I'm eternally grateful for the people that have and will bless my life with their friendship.

How do you handle failed friendships and what have they taught you about you're best friends?

Be Blessed,
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  1. Failed friendships are rough. I have a few with friends from high school- both of who I was very close with and thought we would be friends forever. Yet one made me cry on my wedding day (she wasn't even invited- but I saw her at the after party at a bar) and one didn't even attend my wedding even though he said he would and I haven't heard from him since.

    It's a tough pill to swallow knowing that people who you thought would be there no longer are. I do often think of the happy times with both these people and feel upset about where things are now. But I need to remember the good times, not dwell on the bad.

    Good post girl :)

    1. Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment Margaret! First off I am so sorry that you've had two really difficult friendships that you still sometimes struggle with, that's never easy. I think it's important to remember the good times and also to allow those experiences to form a deeper appreciation for the friends that are your constants.

  2. This post resonates with me so much! However, I don't like to consider them 'failed' friendships. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a specific phase or period of time, and then it's time to move on as we grow up. Great post!!


    1. You're so right and friendship that brings value to your life can't really be considered a failure. We just have to learn and grow from those relationships. Thanks for the comment Brianna!

  3. great post! I think we all have fialed friendships. It's good to know I'm not the only one who gets a little sad about it at times.

    1. You're absolutely not the only one. I think about my past friends often. I wish them all well but it's hard to think that they aren't a part of my daily life anymore.