July 20, 2015

Pregnancy Advice from Strangers

Unsolicited advice runneth over where weddings, pregnancies or children are concerned. With a growing belly people are more and more inclined to share their experiences and expertise on childbirth and rearing. I've been stopped at the grocery store, the mall and even the gas station all so that strangers can sprinkle me with their little bits of pregnancy wisdom. Surprisingly, the advice is not just from women but men are also getting in on the action.

Instead of hoarding these golden nuggets of wisdom I  thought it was only kind of me to share some of this advice with you - hopefully it will make you laugh - if not provide some actual insight.

"Get an epidural. Seriously." 
- said the male the gas attendant at Costco

"Don't drive yourself to the hospital, just call 911." 
- said the female insurance adjuster that inspected my car

"Make sure to send your baby to school." 
- said the male the restaurant owner at one of my favorite ethnic restaurants

"Sleep now." 
- said the female nail tech while I was getting my pedicure

"Enjoy your growing belly." 
- said the female shopper at our local grocery store

"Now's the time to eat more ice cream." 
- said the female attendant at the chiropractor

"Stay inside - it's too hot out there." 
- said the male technician who was changing my oil

"Don't forget about your other little one once that one arrives (pointing to my belly)." 
- said the male kid's train conductor at the mall

"You're going to pop at the next full moon." 
- said the female conducting the animal adoptions at the pet store

"If you want to go into labor do it the natural way. You know the three letter word, S-E-X." 
- said my male chiropractor

I can't tell you the number of internal eye rolls or sarcastic responses I've wanted to spew back to these advice givers but luckily I'm able to hold my tongue most of the time. But since this is a safe space I will qualify the following:
  • Epidural - yes please! I have nothing against a natural birth but if I have the choice I'm taking the pain blocker. 
  • I drove myself to the hospital last time and while I don't plan on doing that again - I certainly don't plan on calling 911.
  • Yes, I plan on sending both my children to school - this was really never a question.
  • What do you mean, "sleep now?" I'm writing this at 5 a.m. because I've been riddled with insomnia. I'm convinced nature has a way of slowly depleting your sleep while pregnant so that you're more prepared for the late night feedings after baby arrives. 
  • I do enjoy my growing belly, sometimes - not at much as I should honestly. This is something I'm trying to embrace but the additional weight can be a lot to handle at times, especially when I can't tie my own shoes.
  • I eat A LOT of ice cream - it's embarrassing how much ice cream I've eaten inhaled over the last couple months. 
  • I heart air conditioning but I do try to take my son outside when it's not raining or too hot.
  • How could I possibly forget about one of my children? I adore my oldest and he is going to be such a big helper and a great big brother. One of the things I'm looking forward to most with baby #2 is introducing my boys to one another. I could NEVER forget any of my littles, they are my heart. 
  • I sincerely hope no "popping" occurs but if a full moon prompts me to meet this little guy, I'm all for it.
  • Thanks for the spelling lesson I always thought "sex" had an extra letter - maybe a silent "e" at the end - anyone else?
I'm just weeks (maybe days) away from having this little guy - I'd love to know if you have any advice.

Be Blessed,
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1 comment:

  1. Danielle LestockJuly 20, 2015 at 1:26 PM

    Lol nice I have gotten stopped more now that he is here..... You need anything let me know! This experience will be very different and good from your last so just try to see it that way. I can't say it will feel any less crazy, but this one will be different! :) Get some rest if you can, now you know what I meant when I said I wasn't sleeping, I WASN'T SLEEPING :P