March 16, 2016

Second Guesses

I am consistently second guessing my decisions as a mom.

Do I play with my children too much?
Do I play with them enough?

Am I overprotective?
Or do I really need to be more mindful of what my kids are saying and doing?

Does he really need to learn all the rules or is it better to encourage him to be a free spirit?

People don't actually expect me to arrive on time - do they?

Will he be behind if he can't write the alphabet by the time he goes to kindergarten or will he be fine as long as he can recite it?

Is my son ruining someone else's restaurant experience because he's acting like a very typical three-year-old? Is this one of those restaurants where that really matters? 

Do I put him in front of a screen too often? How else am I going to get anything else done?

Are there moms out there who really plan Pinterest-perfect crafts, well-balanced meals, baby and me exercise routines and outdoor play time EVERY DAY? What's wrong with me that I find that so daunting?

Seriously do I need to brush my hair and my teeth?
Does the FedEx delivery man judge me?

So my son weighs significantly more than the label on the Tylenol box but he's only 7 months old and not 18 months, how much is appropriate to give him? My other son is so skinny his weight isn't on the chart but he's three - so just give them the same amount right? Okay, I'm kidding (a little) on this one.

It's normal that the people at the grocery store know my son's name right?

The. List. Goes. On.

Why do I live in this perpetual state of questions and anxiety? Why am I always worried about what everyone else thinks about my parenting? Maybe all the perceived pressure I feel from the outside is really just me in my own head. Are any of you mamas out there reading this saying, "me too?" I feel like sometimes I get so lost in all this I forget to really enjoy the time I have with my littles. I forget to just let go of those anxieties and live life like a child, carefree. And when I do have those moments when I let my hair down and just play soccer with my son in the backyard - we have a blast. Those are the moments that I remember and before he goes to bed and we talk about his day - those are the moments he always wants to talk about because in his little world they were the most fun.

Anxiety about Parenting

I can't let my anxiety about being a good parent ruining my parenting.

I was second guessing my parenting abilities the other day so I asked my oldest son, "Am I a good mommy?"

You know what his answer was, "Yes" - he even said he loves me "so much" and I'm his "favorite mommy." Taken all things into consideration I'd have to say that's a pretty big sign of affirmation that I'm doing something right. I need to let go of this second guessing stuff.

So here's to not caring (as much). To living a little more and to many, many more memories worth holding onto. 

Be Blessed,
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1 comment:

  1. Thank you Brittany! You voiced thoughts that I have had too, many of the same questions. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece. I love the quote "I can't let my anxiety about being a good parent ruin my parenting" I will make this a daily affirmation!