April 17, 2013

Paradigm Shift

My heart is heavy. Heavy from the news of the tragedy centered around the Boston marathon and heavy from the news of my husbands grandfathers' passing. Faced with so much loss this week it's really made me take a step back to reflect on things, all things. 

I was half a tick away from a complete mental breakdown on Monday after learning that a great man was welcomed into God's kingdom, Pop, my husband's grandfather. Here is how the day proceeded:

- I took my 9-week old to the doctor for his two month shots at which time he peed and spit up all over me (so much for the first outfit I planned on wearing to work). 
- On the way back from the doctor's I had a wailing infant in the back seat and drove head first into some classic Atlanta traffic. The road that I have to take to get home was completely closed and I was now two and a half hours late getting to work (and remember that I just started my new job last week).
- My husband was on his way to Memphis to be with and care for his family so I was overwhelmed thinking about being all alone at night with our infant.

So needless to say I was incredibly stressed out and I really felt like I was on the verge of losing it. Then I stopped at a red light and suddenly things just slowed down. I said a quick prayer, turned off the radio and I realized:

- Thank goodness I took <A> to the doctor, now he can join us in Memphis as we celebrate Pop's life and lay him to rest (and who doesn't love playing dress up and trying on everything in their closet).
- Traffic-smaffic... what a blessing it is that I work for a company that is so completely supportive of me being a mom and understanding that life happens and the importance of me being with my husband as he grieves for his grandfather. 
- How awesome is that we just bought a family "road" vehicle to take to specifically to Memphis and Ohio and how fortuitous that instead of trying to lug everything for <A> onto a plane that we had the space and foresight to pack his stuff ahead of time and send it with <K> so that everything would be ready for him once we arrived. Moreover, how very very lucky am I to have a mom who chose to uproot her life to come to Atlanta to help watch <A> for the next six weeks? Even when <K> is gone, I'm never really by myself, I have her and my little man.

It seems funny to me, even as I write this, how a little time and a little prayer can completely change your outlook on things. I'm not going to say that Monday morning was easy, but I resolve to believe it was full of blessings; the greatest of those is knowing that Pop is now watching over <A> and <K> everyday. 

In memory and celebration of a great man, Jimmie Nelson Fryman Sr. You'll be forever in our hearts.

Photo by Nicole Dixon

Be Blessed,
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