May 13, 2015

So You Want to Date my Son?

He stands less than three feet tall and yet still I think about his future incessantly. Will he be a baseball player or an engineer? Will he be a picky eater or an adventure seeker? I don't know the answers to these questions but the one thing I can guarantee is that no matter what my little guy grows to love, I will always love him. I am after all his Mama. I'm the #1 women in his life, at least for now.

Before long another someone special will claim a piece of my son's heart and while my place as mom will remain, my priority in his life will change. I know that one day I will simply be there to love and support him while he loves and supports his new someone special but before that happens I have a big job on my hands. I have to teach him to be a man worth dating, a man worth knowing and loving, a man like his daddy, his Popa and his G-Bud.

First and foremost I need to teach my son to be a man of God. A man who prays in the privacy of his home on his knees in the dark and still has the courage to pray openly for those who might desperately need to hear the Word of God.

I want to teach my son the virtues of integrity, honesty, humbleness and courage. I want him to know what it's like to suffer great lose and the effervescent feeling of victory. I hope that I teach him that hard work is one of the most valuable assets he has to offer the world but the gift of loving, supporting and providing for others is his duty as a man, a lover, a father and fellow human being. I don't expect for his life to be easy but as long as I'm living he will have my unwavering support. That support doesn't always mean I'm going to be his best friend or agree with his decisions. It means that I will do my best to unconditionally love him through all his ups and downs.

Before my son finds someone else to take priority in his heart I want him to explore the world and see the faces of different cultures and the landscapes of multiple continents. I want him to ask questions. I want his wisdom to grow just as vast and as quickly as his curiosity for life. I want him to see a Broadway play, a college football game and eat an exquisite meal. I want him to swim in multiple oceans, I want him to indulge on art and music and compete in a sport that will forever challenge him. I want him to seek out and find friends that are worth having for a lifetime. I want him to think about his legacy and the mark he will leave on the world and understand the heritage on which he stands and the roots that have given him life. I want him to know that his word is worth his weight in gold and that anything that he commits to is deserving of his endurance and unwavering efforts.

I plan on teaching my son that his family is his backbone. That love isn't easy. That affection is a necessity and that death is a reality.

When he meets that special someone I hope that my husband and I have provided him with a strong, positive example of marriage and life-long love. I pray that he loves and respects, adores and praises, hugs and kisses and remains faithful in all ways to his new #1.

If you want to date my son I hope you hold him to high standards. I hope you cherish every inch of him as much as I do. I hope you realize that he is my greatest achievement and life-long love project. I have poured my heart and soul into his character. I couldn't love anyone or anything more and if he chooses to love you, you my dear will in turn be immensely loved by me. So until the day comes when you take my place I will work diligently to provide you with the most amazing man I can possibly raise, my own flesh and blood, my boy, my son.

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  1. If all mothers raised their sons as you expressed it, there would be happier women in the world. I believe two things: a son watches how his father treats his mother and a daughter sees how her mother treats her father! Having good role models to show them how loving relationships are done is the key to them having successful relationships themselves. Keep up the good work, your future daughter-in-law will thank you!

  2. Michelle you are too sweet. I completely agree with you that those who surround us really lay the groundwork for our own relationships. Imparting these kinds of lessons is such an awesome responsibility and I know so many mamas are just doing the best they can. I can't promise that my son will turn out perfect but he's going to get a lot of loving and hopefully learn lots of lessons. Thank you for the support and comment.

  3. I love this. It is so important that we raise our kids to treat people right and expect to be treated right. You expressed yourself so well.

  4. This post is so beautiful! I have 3 sons, and you perfectly spoke my heart! I teared up as I read this because I want the same exact things for my boys. I also love that you recognize that when your son marries, you will no longer be number one in his life. Unfortunately, a lot of moms try to fight against that grain when their sons get married. Your son is blessed with a beautiful mother! (If you don't mind, I will be sharing this on my Facebook page.)

  5. Thank you so much Lydia - your kind words literally mean the world to me. I think one of the hardest transitions I will ever face is becoming his #2 - I think it's a struggle so many moms face - I guess it's all about embracing the change instead of fighting it. Please do share - I'm truly honored you'd even consider it.

  6. I love this SO much!! Like I seriously wish I had read this earlier today... maybe my attitude would have been different with Zander's meltdowns. This is so well said and your points are wonderful! so great!

  7. I'm trying REALLY hard not to cry at my work desk. This is exactly how I feel and now i just want to go home and hug my sweet baby boy.

  8. You are too sweet, thank you. I know that sometimes the day-to-day routines can catch up with us. Keep your head up - you are doing a GREAT job.

  9. Ha if it helps I cried when I wrote this and each time I read it I shed a tear. Hug that sweet boy and thank you so much for the sweet words.

  10. Oh my gosh girl I'm all teary eyed at my work desk. I am dating "that special boy", he's the first born, also the first grandchild. He was raised by an amazing woman, and loving family. I am very glad that he was raised like that and that he loves me so much. ♥ I love this post so much girl <3

  11. Yes, I do agree that it's a change we will need to embrace. I hope to be half the mother-in-law to my sons' future wives as mine is to me. She is an amazing, wonderful woman! We have such a beautiful relationship. She said one of the things she did ever since her kids were little was pray for her children's future spouses and that she would have a good relationship with all of them. Well, God certainly heeded her prayers, because all of us adore her!